~*geixilabshu*~

I miss him already :( i know, its just been 2 days since we haven't seen each other.. but 2 days seems like 2 years in sadness for me... im used to be with him... waaaa!!! so i feel really really really sad...:( huhu! mimiss geixi binbin! waaahuhuhu!

Oh well i just have to be used with it... i know, there will be lots of instances wherein we might not see each other for more than a week or might be a month... so yun..

i just kept on remembering one phrase he told me which really got me...he said that even if we may not be together always, he still loves me and will always love me forever.. did he really say that?!!! no im just kidding..ofcourse he did... that's how sweet my baby ish.. hehe!

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my thoughts for the day... haha!

>> first of..i keep on thinking about that stupid mutt and his bitchy bitchy girl.. why do they need to keep on destruct my life... damn! sila nauna ha..lalo na yung asshole na yun!! that NIKO!!!!! i hate him to death.. i wish mabasa niya to so he will know how much i really really hate him.. bahala na magkasala sa taas...basta! i HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


>>aytie! forget about those stupids.. i just realize malapit na september 8.. golly!! malapit na nga yung monthsary namin.. tagal na namin ah...arvin is my best best best guy... grabe!! hahaha! no words could ever define how much im thankful for having him in my life as the one who gives me joy and love and makes my day complete... ^___^ di maiiwasan yung bad moods and minsan away eh.. pero dispite dun sa mga misunderstandings namin minsan mas nananaig padin yung love... cheesy diba?? hahaha! arvin is soooo sweet! beyond so sweet tlaga! siya yung pinaka sweet at spicy na naging bf ko.. hahaha! basta im soooo sooo happy kasi i could feel na sobrang mahal na mahal niya ko.. oh my goshy!!! im sooo mushy! hahaha!

Lonely ako..loNely pa sa lonely..kung bakit? Read the ff:

1. Kasi boring
2. Kasi nagiisa lang ako lagi,nag mumukmok sa kwarto. Di naman ako mkalabas ng bahay. gwa bo chi! Haha! Kinuha ng mahal na nanay ko lahat ng chi ko...
3. Lagi ako pinapagalitan sa bahay,iresponsableng tamad at inutil daw ako sabi ng nanay ko. Nakaka touch diba? Wula nang ibang pinag bubuhusan ng galit kundi ako...could she give me some break?pwde ba!amf! Nakaka stress!
4. Kasi selos ako sa mga kaibigan ni vin. Specifically to hi girl friends... Girlfriend ako kaya natural nakakaramdam ako ng selos at di ako manhid!hello!yun nga lang sobra kung mag selos.hehe! Pero ngayon ok naman kami.kaso tuwing may nakikita ko pics na me kasama xa girls talagang nag seselos ako sa kanila.naiinis ako, kumukulo dugo ko.pero tinatago ko na lang.di ko na cnasabi sa kanya xe baka pag awayan nanaman namin.ayoko na ng away talaga. Gugustuhin ko na lang ma dead kung may away lagi.insecure ako sa kanila,inggit ako sa mga kaibigan niya.lagi nila sya kasama.ako hindi.cla lagi nag papangiti sa kanya ako once a week ko lang sya mapangiti.naiiyak nanaman ako... :'(
5. Kasi naaalala ko sinabi niya. Pagod na pagod na pagod na siya. :( hanggang saan na lang kaya kami?may pag asa pa kaya ung relasyon namin? Maayos naman to nun ah? Ano nangyari?pagod na sya ngayon di nako magtataka kung makahanap sya ng iba at mag sawa sya sakin. Napaparanoid ako,natatakot ako,nalulungkot ako. Sinabi ko nun sa sarili ko ayoko na mag mahal eh.eto nanaman ako.nagmahal,nasasaktan, nalulungkot, napapagod,naiiyak... Pero hindi ko pinagsisisihan lahat. Minahal ko sya ng sobra,sya na dumiskarte kung pano niya ingatan yung pagmamahal na yun. Naaalala ko kwento niya nun. Nagkaron sya ng ka mutual understanding sa kasama nia sa training. May gf xa may bf ung girl. Natatakot akong gawin niya sakin un. Sana wag niya sayangin lahat ng sakripisyo at pagmamahal ko. :(


paksyet talaga!ang hirap maging malungkot!

im so so so so tired... yet moving forward... im tired of running over someone...i can't get over this stupidity, im insane! im crazy! i am i know i am!i dont know why i still have to do all these things over and over again... was it because of love? this crazy and stupid love? why do i have to be fool?? why do i always use my heart? why? why???!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aGh!!! im soooo sooo sad... help me... help me fight for this.. i can't do this alone, but i am thinking that if i wont do this, we might lose everything...

do you still love me? i can't feel it anymore... you keep on saying you do.. you really really do.. but prove it! you're loving me conditionally... :( you are so good... so sweet, so kind and so loving.. but you're weak...you're weak inside your heart and you're ain't ready for big responsibilities..i tried making you strong... i tried everything i can... im helping you to stand up. but you're not helping yourself. i love you.. i am so inlove with you.. but this is not just about my love, your love our love.. its about helping out each other.. c'mon.. stand up! and be a man...

as long as love still binds us together... i will still fight for it! no matter how, no matter what.. i will do everything i can.. i will love you unconditionally, and will always love you forever... i'll be your woman, your love and your life... just let me love you.. and dont let me go.. never let me go...i can't promise how long, until when could this be... but this i swear, i will just love you...

i miss you so much...like i really wanna hug you tight, tas kiss kita.. then paulit ulit kong sasabihin how much i love you... 3days pa lang kita di nakikita.. pero mukang monday kita ulit susunod na makikita at makakasama...makakasama ng sandali lang.. parang tanaw lang..naiiyak ako... kasi nasanay akong lagi kita kasama.. :( ang hirap ng ganto noh? ba't mo kasi ako sinanay eh..ang lungkot.. malungkot talaga.. minsan gusto ko mag sisi..sana di na lang naging tayo para di na ulit ako maging malungkot. pero kung iisipin ko yung mga masasayang araw na kasama kita, hindi ko pinagsisisihan lahat. minahal mo ko. minahal kita... tapos! walang angal.. hehe! hindi ko alam hanggang saan aabot itong relasyon na to.. hindi ko maisip kung hanggang kelan nlang tau. natatakot ako.. natatakot akong mawala ka...kasi mahal kita... kaya eto.. kahit nakakalungkot, nakakaiyak, ang hirap, sobrang hirap mag adjust tinitiis ko lahat... kinakaya ko. para sayo.para sa relasyon na to. i'll keep my promises... i'l hold on tight.. and i wont let you go! promise.. sabi nila promises are made to be broken. yeah! minsan.. pero depende din naman sa tao.. depende kung gano siya ka persuasive gawin/tuparin lahat ng mga pinangako niya.. diba? kung hindi niya magagawa yun then he's a jerk.. nyahahaha! joke..

i wanted to quote 1 thing from Dr. Rick Warren's book "The Purpose Driven Life".

“The best expression of love is time. Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money but you can’t make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That’s why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Whenever you give your time you’re making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love."
"...Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is "T-I-M-E."


hahah!ansarap ipabasa sa kanya ng librong yun specifically dun sa chapter 16 what matters most.. hahahaha! wala lang..masarap mangbara.. hahahah! hindi, naiintindihan ko naman ang sitwayson niya...




...pero sana maintindihan niya din ako. :(